Exclusionary Tactics

     Not to be just another re-hash of a particularly big topic right now, but unfortunately, I have an opinion on this topic. And since this is my blog and not someone else's, I'm posting it. 

     

     This has been an interesting week in the world of gaming. If you follow gaming news (and are not a psychopath), you may have been a little alarmed at some of the things that have been newsworthy this past week.  There was the DDoS attack that allegedly shut down the PSN. The bomb threat that diverted an airplane carrying the SONY CEO. The outrageous  harassment that nearly caused someone to sell his company, and forced someone else to leave her home. 

     Of course—I have an opinion on most of these things. Not the least of which the Fish BS. I mean, look, I agree that he is kind of an a-hole (he told a developer to his face that their games suck, for crying out loud), but you kind of give up your higher ground when you fall to the tactics of common criminals and losers with threats and releasing his personal information to the world. Never mind the fact that while the guy could use more tact, a lot of what he talks about isn't exactly wrong.  So, congratulations on that, way to make people not want to deal with making games at all anymore! Woo-hoo! Job well done. 

Stop being bigots. 

     There have been a lot of opinions coming out over the past few days, due to the actions of a group of psychopaths and losers. I have a newsflash: someone who posts death threats and hacks accounts? A psychopath, gamer or no. And they could be a psychopath whether they were gamers, or book lovers, or movie lovers. (This is not the only group to send out death threats when they don't get their way.) And I don't particularly appreciate being included in this group of crazies. But--people are losing their minds for no reason. There are articles coming about the irrelevance of gamers, leaving gamers behind, and the death of an identity.

     I am what you would call a “hardcore” gamer. (And just for the people that don't seem to understand that hardcore isn't a gaming term, it's just a correct use of the word; a definition: the most active, committed, or doctrinaire members of a group or movement.) I have been gaming since the days of 8-bit, since I was toddling around on legs barely tall enough to hold me (those of you that know me: no “But that’s now!” jokes.) I have logged more gaming hours than any man, boy, or child I know; and played everything from sim games, RPGs, to shooters, and everything in between. (One of my nostalgia tinged favorites: Zombies Ate MY Neighbors.) I have spent hours debating mythos, and designing new characters for beloved games, and replaying games for the 7-8-9-and 10^th times to see different possibilities. I love games. Absolutely love them. I also love books. And music. And you can be hardcore at anything, it's just a comment on how dedicated you are to the topic. 

     Gaming/gamer by definition is not exclusionary. Neither is boarder, artist, cinephile, bibliophile. People invent words to define their interest, and to be part of a group. Anyone can be a gamer, and just because you are a gamer, doesn't mean that you can't also be an audiophile. The above articles are defining a gamer as an identity--an exclusionary belief system---as opposed to what it is: someone who games. 

     I do not think gamers are dead. I don't think they'll die anytime soon. The same way that we have indie films, and subtitled, and all the different kinds of music enjoyed by more hardcore music lovers and movie lovers than what is mainstream, we will always have big, beautiful games, and the gamers willing to put in 200 hours to play them. Most gamers, while perhaps exasperated with people who play candy crush calling themselves gamers in a conversation with someone who has spent the bulk of their life playing games, new and old, long and short like it's equivalent (hence the differentiation of casual gamer vs hardcore gamer---both gamers, just of different degrees), are happy to see an influx of new people enjoying gaming. That means more games for the rest of us, too! More money, more recognition of games as a legitimate business and art form! Woo! 

Very interesting study! This is a good thing--we can all exist!

     These people of the last few days--these people are losers. They are sad examples of what happens when you don't learn to deal with differing opinions in a constructive way, people who never learned how to control themselves and live with society. The equivalent of a grown-ass person throwing a temper tantrum like a 5 year old--and giving the rest of us a bad name.

     I guess the point is this: Please do not include the bulk of gamers--who are happy to see you, and glad to see the medium growing and trying new things---in with these people who are exclusionary to the point of madness. Also, crazies. STOP. 

Destination Matters

     

     
     As in matters of destination, OR the destination matters.  See what I did there? So, I kind of thought that for now, I would write some more in depth ideas and topics about the goals I had listed previously here. Somewhat contrary to the above, I think both the journey and the destination matter. I believe more in the whole picture.  So one of the things I have been going through a lot lately is travelling. I LOVE to travel. I love to see new people, see new places, and try to blend in to a new location. I haven't been to a ton of places yet, but I have big plans. 
     
     As a newly solo traveler, I can go anywhere or do anything I want. There are a lot of considerations. An America trip? An international trip? A long weekend? Or a long week? So, as someone who has a hard time decided from a list of many on what to do, I've decided to make another list! 

1. I love lists. 
2. Hopefully someone will come across it and give me a vote! It'll help me decide. 

     I figure, if nothing else, I have all the information for my current top trips in one place, and I can 'eenie-meenie-minie-moe' it. So, here it is--and in no particular order:

• London

I absolutely LOVED London. I loved London so much that I could live there, and that is not true about many places that I've been. I loved the food, and the flat that I stayed in, and the shows, and Southbank. I loved the feel of the city, despite the lack of green-ness. This is one of the more expensive ones, and I would want to stay here for a while, since the flight would take a good chunk of time. I could also throw in a day trip or two, since the train system is so usable. 

• San Francisco

Another city destination! I've always wanted to go to San Fran--the hills, and the history. This one I have never been to, never been to California at all. And I'm not ashamed to admit, I've wanted to go to San Francisco ever since I saw the movie 'The Sweetest Thing." Don't judge me. 

• Raleigh, NC

Raleigh is another place I've been to before, but was considering going back because I have friends near there, and it's pretty close to the beach as well. 

• Maui

OMG look at that beach. I'm not going to lie, Maui is my top contender right now, despite the fact that it's expensive, despite the fact that it's almost fall, despite the fact that I'm a little too big to be comfortable in a bathing suit right now. I have never been more relaxed than I am on a beach, and I have to tell you the thought of it is chilling my bones from a distance. It also seems like a great solo trip since I know there is a lot of active things I could do; zip lining, snorkeling, climbing, etc.  

• Bangkok

Another international destination! Something a little more exotic--a good symbol of the fact that I'm not totally sure what I'm going for here. But the thought of wandering around Bangkok sounds extremely appealing to me. 

     That's the end of my list for now--and I still can't decide! At least this will be up for me to think about for a while. If anyone comes across this and has any thoughts, please let me know. 

     

     But who knows, maybe I don't need this at all--my cell phone just rang and apparently I've won a free trip to the Bahamas! I don't remember entering a content, but I'm sure all I have to do is wire them the money to send me my tickets. 

Being Lost--Or Life's To-Do List

     

     What does it mean to be lost? For the past couple of months I have felt like I was lost. In a very short span of time, I lost a family member, my marriage ended very suddenly (at least on my part), and I have felt unsure of my work. I have had to support my mother long past the time where she should more than be on her own. 

     Needless to say, I've been spending a good deal of time in thought. I decided to keep this blog for me as kind of a catch all. Something to help me explore and contemplate, and really try to figure out where I go from here. And maybe I can meet others with the same problems. Maybe not, who knows? 

     I've decided that I'm not lost. The definition of lost states being "unable to find one's way." I definitely do not think that is the case. I have a ton of things I love, a ton of things I want to do. I can be just myself for a while. If I try I can really expand my horizons and gain new perspective in my life. 

     But I know one thing is for sure: I can find my way.  I just have to try all the doors! 

     So--here is my list of things I want to do or try (it is not all inclusive--yet!): 

• Go back to school for my MBA. 

I want to get my MBA to keep myself competitive in my current field. My husband always kind of balked when I mentioned going to grad school, so I figure now is a good a time as any! Not a huge fan of taking out more student loans, but I'll be taking out as few as possible. Just a necessary evil right now, but I think it will be worth it, in the name of self improvement.  

• Decide if I want to get a more specialized degree (software, IT, or something else).

I love to learn, and always have. There are several things that I would love to be able to try, but I need some more specialized certification to do so. I used to work IT back in school, and loved it, but I decided to take something a bit more stable and easier to get into at the time--something I kind of regret, now. I've been thinking quite a bit about software design and development and game design---I would love to explore these a bit more. I am also pretty heavily into nutrition and fitness--so I'm interested in these, as well. 

• Decide want I want to be when I grow up. 

Slightly related to the above point, haha! My job currently is very stable. There are a lot of pluses to it, and I am certainly not ungrateful! But--I'm just not sure if it is where I want to be in 5 or 10 years. There is a lot of busy work, and I don't really feel as though I'm living up to my full potential there. And I'm definitely not really passionate about it--and I don't think I've quite given up on finding something that I can make a living at and be really passionate about. 

• Write my novel.

I have had several ideas for novels over the years. But lately I've had one floating around that just won't seem to go away--I feel like this is the first one that will actually get written. I am going to give it my best shot. 

• Improve my fitness level. 

I'm pretty strong. But I want to be more fit, and have more stamina. I always feel good when I workout, it's just getting to actually start it. Included with this in increasing my nutrition. 

• Improve my confidence level. 

This is a big deal for me. I am confident about several things--mostly my abilities, but my own personal self is a lot harder. 

• Travel more.

I want to go and explore more places. Be relaxed, and feel out a place. 

• Draw more.

I love to draw. I love to make things, and draw and paint and color pretty pictures. I want to experiment with new techniques and put some more time into it. I have been kind of starting a comic, too, so I'd like to see where that goes. 

• Get out there and meet new people.

I am an introvert. I tend to be quiet, and be more of a quality over quantity kind of person. With my husband, who was an extrovert (an extreme extrovert), he tended to dominate all conversations. He would take over and be the only one anyone heard. In the few weeks since our split--it has been a real surprise how many friends I didn't know I had, that have come out of the woodwork without him blocking the view. I want to open myself up to meeting more people and making more friends, and building closer friendships with the friends I already have.  

• Be me! 

This one is both all of these things and none of them. With the questions the come with life events like those that have happened to me recently, I have wondered who I am, who I want to be. Are they the same? Are they close? In a way the above items are part of the path to this one. I will not let anyone else dictate my life anymore. 

    I'll touch on these things all again, but the bottom line is this: Sometimes the only thing that matters is your perspective.